A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare; the man wakes him and asks his son if he is okay. The son replies he is scared because he dreamed that Aunt Lisa had died. The father assures the son that Aunt Lisa is fine and sends him to bed. The next day, Aunt Lisa dies. One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare; the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamed that his grandfather had died. The father assures the son that his grandfather is fine and sends him to bed. The next day, the grandfather dies. One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare; the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamed that dad had died. The father assures the son that he is okay and sends the boy to bed. The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The next day, the man is scared for his life -- he is sure he's going to die. After dressing he drives very cautiously to work. He doesn't eat lunch because he is scared of choking. He avoids everyone because he's sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise and hides for most of the day under his desk. Upon walking in his front door at the end of the day, he see his wife. "Good God, Dear," he proclaims, "I've just had the worst day of my entire life!" She responds, "You think your day was bad, the UPS man dropped dead on the doorstep this morning."
(SHALL WE PRAY)LOL
Thirteen percent of adults -- mostly men -- have done this at least once.
(If you know the answer post it in the comments on Facebook, the first posted answer wins a copy of the new Kurt Carr Singers CD " Bless This House")
Because our wallets go everywhere we go, they get weighed down with all sorts of unhelpful junk, like ticket stubs, receipts, discount cards, etc. But de-toxing your wallet is not as simple as turning it upside down and shaking everything out. Here's a plan for reducing the clutter in your wallet:
Out With Waste-of-Space Cards -- Time to say "see-ya" to your shopping cards. Sure they might offer you discounts, but they also encourage you to keep spending. Keep one or two that you frequently use. Only keep cards that are current and used regularly.
No More Useless Paper -- Go through your wallet and take out all the old receipts and ticket stubs. Do the same with little bits of paper with telephone numbers and names.
Keep Photos to a Minimum -- Sure, its great to have a photo of your loved ones, but do your wallet a favor and move those pics to your smartphone.
Farewell Fantastic Plastic -- Now comes the crunch. Time to remove any excess plastic ... that means credit cards. If you have lots of cards, close them down and consolidate your debts on a lower-interest rate card.
Stash Your Cash Neatly -- A good way to know exactly how much cash you have on you is to get into the habit of putting your notes in their proper compartments. By organizing, you not only have an idea of how much you have, but may reduce your trips to the ATM.
Spend Your Shrapnel First -- No one likes to break a note, so make it your mission to use up all your coins first. This way you won't be so tempted to splurge on impulse buys. Plus getting rid of the heavy silver will do a lot to de-clutter your wallet.
There’s a new restaurant in London that promises you a calorie-neutral menu. Why? Because you’re burning fat as you eat. Everything from exercise rooms to vibrating seats. And they keep the thermostat cool so you don’t sweat all over your food. Here are some other unusual restaurants.
» Hajime Restaurant, Bangkok, Thailand: Robot run. Owner Lapassarad Thanaphant has high hopes for her robot-run restaurant. Thanaphant invested nearly $1 million to purchase four dancing (yes, they also dance!) robots who serve diners Japanese delicacies.
» Ithaa Undersea Restaurant, Rangali Island, Maldives: Ever dine on octopus and oysters surrounded by octopus and oysters? Well, you can do just that at the luxurious Ithaa restaurant beneath the Indian Ocean. Ithaa, meaning "pearl," sits between three and six feet below sea level (depending on the tides) and weighs over 200 tons, so the chef won't drift out to sea. On the menu: crustaceans and wild game.
» Modern Toilet, Taiwan: If you're into potty jokes (and can get over the gross-out factor), then you will find this toilet-themed restaurant plenty entertaining. Guests slurp up Asian noodles from commode-shaped bowls while sitting on their very own can. Keep the seat down.
» Laino Snow Village Ice Restaurant, Finland: Just north of the Arctic Circle the winters are cold enough to sustain Snow Village's Ice Restaurant for the season. Inside the 200-square- meter all-natural ice structure, diners sit on solid-ice chairs at solid-ice tables while savoring local fare like cream of Lappish potato soup with cold smoked salmon, tender reindeer, and game meatballs served with — what else? — vodka-lingonberry jelly.
» Dinner in the Sky, worldwide: Dinner in the Sky brings new meaning to alfresco dining. If you have $40,000 to spare, you and 21 of your closest friends can lavishly dangle 150 feet above any city (or golf course) while conspicuously consuming beef and foie gras mille- feuille (savory layered puff pastry) and sipping Dom Pérignon.
» Yellow Treehouse Restaurant, Auckland, New Zealand: Using resources from inside the Yellow Pages, Pacific Environments architects constructed this pod-shaped eatery accessed by an 180-foot "treetop" walkway. There, 18 diners savored a multicourse menu that included pan-fried lamb loins with baby beetroot and mandarin salad with caramelized garlic. (Unfortunately, the restaurant was just a temporary project and has since closed.)
» Le Refuge des Fondus, Paris, France: As rumor has it, this favorite tourist attraction first began offering patrons wine in baby bottles as a way to avoid the French tax on wine served in proper glasses. While sucking down the grape juice, winos can fill their bellies with toothsome cheese or beef fondues.
» Mars 2112, Times Square, New York City: Upon arrival, friendly Martians guide hungry earthlings into the hot, dry, red planet, where they can dine on the Martian Seafood Platter — exotic ocean shellfish, squid, shrimp, mussels with a spicy seafood sauce.
» Alcatraz E.R., Tokyo, Japan: If you were ever curious (and who isn't?) about life in a medical prison, Tokyo's Alcatraz E.R. will serve that sentence. Diners are handcuffed upon arrival and taken to their "cells," where they can choose from a list of bizarre elixirs served in blood-transfusion apparatus by hospital orderlies.
Late last month CoedMagazine.com released their 2013 edition of the trashiest destinations for spring break. The rankings took into account the number of Hooters restaurants, tattoo parlors, liquor stores, and clubs. Vegas took #1 in the club category with 53, casinos that have no closing time, four Hooters restaurants, 100 tattoo parlors, and 126 liquor stores.
... South Padre Island came in second with only four liquor stores and two tattoo parlors, but the Texas island allows all types of alcohol on their sand. Kegs, bottles, cans -- all are welcome.
Top 15 trashiest spring break destinations:
1. Las Vegas, Nevada
2. South Padre Island, Texas
3. Daytona Beach, Florida
4. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
5. Orlando, Florida
6. Lake Havasu, Arizona
7. Miami, Florida
8. Panama City Beach, Florida
9. Key West, Florida
10. Fort Myers, Florida
11. Tampa, Florida
12. Virginia Beach, Virgina
13. Scottsdale, Arizona
14. New Orleans, Louisiana
15. San Diego, California
ELECTING THE NEXT POPE
Here's a handy
graphic from the Wall Street Journal.
Conclaves were installed
centuries ago in order to rid the voting process from outside influence. This
week's will be the tenth since 1903.
The conclave to elect the
next pope will begin Tuesday as Cardinals enter Sistine Chapel after celebrating
a pre-conclave Mass.
A total of 115 cardinals
will be involved in the process of choosing the new pope.
Only cardinals under the
age of 80 at the time of Benedict XVI's official resignation being eligible to
While some papal elections
centuries back lasted years, conclaves held in the past century have wrapped up
in two to five days.
The March 12 start gives
cardinals time to choose a new pope before the March 24 beginning of Holy
The cardinals can vote up
to four times a day with breaks for prayer if the process extends beyond a few
In order to become the new
pontiff, a candidate must secure two-thirds support — in this case 77 votes.
If a round of voting comes
up short, ballots are burned and black smoke rises from a stovepipe installed at
The public knows when a
new pontiff has been selected because white smoke rises from the chimney and the
basilica's bells toll.
Bummed your favorite TV show didn't make it past a single season? Imagine being canceled after a single episode. See if you remember any of these. (You probably won't.)
The show starred Lauren Jones, a former The Price Is Right showcase model, as an aspiring news anchor in Tyler, Texas. FOX canceled the show after debuting two back-to-back episodes.
Beware Of Dog (2002)
The Look Who’s Talking-inspired show was narrated by a puppy just adopted by a new family. The program was the first (short-lived) sitcom for Animal Planet.
Emily’s Reasons Why Not (2006)
The ABC series centered on Heather Graham’s character who was a self-help book author who strikes out when it comes to love.
Former NFL player Brian Bosworth starred in the FOX detective series. Well starred in the first and only episode.
Rosie Live (2008)
NBC pulled the variety show hosted by Rosie O’Donnell after critics labeled it DOA.
Secret Talents Of The Stars (2008)
The interactive reality game show pitted C-List celebrities against each other in a tournament that tested their talents.
The Hasselhoffs (2010)
The A&E reality series followed David Hasselhoff and his drama-filled family. The network pulled the show off its schedule after the premiere but later aired all 8 episodes on The Biography Channel.
The Rich List (2006)
The game show was adapted from a U.K. version during which people competed at naming the most ABBA songs.
The Will (2005)
The reality competition pitted friends and relatives a deceased benefactor against each other in a series of challenges to determine who win the right to inherit his “prized possession.”
Who’s Your Daddy? (2005)
The FOX reality competition had adults who were put up for adoption as a child attempt to pick out their father from a group of men.